Hubby has duty tonight, baby girl has had her bath and is snug, cozy and sound asleep. I'm relaxing in a clean, peaceful house and I have a little time to actually gather my thoughts and write. It's been so long. So, very long. Really, this blog isn't just for blogging my sessions. It's therapeutic to me. It frees my mind and allows me to "talk." Sometimes it's just nice to talk. Even if no one is listening.
(Would that be classified as crazy? Eh. Oh well.)
Life took off from me there for a little while! So much emotion! The joy of giving birth to my best friend and my hero, the terror of learning of her Congenital Heart Defect, the anxiety and excitement of bringing her home, the sadness when my family had to head back to North Carolina, the panic at the thought that I'd be heading that way in three short weeks (and, at that time, not a single box was packed), the weekly cardiology and pediatric appointments, the fear I felt when I learned my husband, mother-in-law and father-in-law were involved in a head on collision less than a mile from our home, the moving, the settling, the starting up of this business (again) and, now, we're preparing to move for the sixth time in our marriage (this time within the same town.)
(Ignore the fact that that was totally a run-on sentence. I see all of your Grammar Nazis cringing. I would do the same.)
Needless to say, it's been a long, joyful, triumphant, emotional ride of a past five months! I wouldn't change a bit of it, though. It was all in the Good Lord's plans for our lives. It's shaped us and we are continually learning from Him. He's awesome, ya know.
I've found myself a little more throughout all of this. Not in a tree hugging, hippie kind of way. In a "I can sort of see the type of mother, wife and business owner that I'm supposed to be," kind of way. I'm content in this life. And, accepting of the obstacles and hurdles that have been and probably will continue to be thrown in our path.
My baby is thriving and well and, contrary to the opinions of every physician and cardiologist who has examined her, she's breaking the mold of her Ebstein's Anomaly. She's classified anatomically severe but continues to be our strong, little fighter and stays symptomatically mild. This mama's heart swells and bursts every time I think about how good God has been to my family and our Tweet and how He's working through her. :)
I'm back now. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to get back to work. I didn't know if my heart would ever be in it. I couldn't be sure that it would ever be a priority. But, I need this. I need to do what I love while loving those whom I love, if that makes any sense at all. I need my daughter to grow up and see her mama excelling in something she's passionate about. I want her to not only see me as a strong mama but also as someone who works hard for what they want and never lets circumstance determine her successfulness. I want her to do everything she wants to do and not let the doctor's appointments and the setbacks interfere with all of those dreams. And, she has to see that I don't let all of that mush interfere with my dreams either.
I'm looking forward to the creativity that being home, here at Camp Lejeune, is going to spark in me. I'm looking forward to photographing YOU and becoming your go-to photographer. I'm ready for a taste of what the next (two?) years hold for me here.
I'd love for you to enjoy a few photographs of my all time FAVORITE subject. <3 I'm looking forward to adding you and those you love to my portfolio, as well.